return from the dragon

well, i made my trek to the dealers and it was about as bad as you could imagine.

the first one was stevens creek chrysler. i parked on stevens creek and wasn't three feet onto the lot when i was accosted by the classic white-shirted and tied guy.

"can i help you?"

"sure. i want to see every color the PT cruiser comes in."

you could actually see him deflate slightly as he tried to figure out how to handle this "situation." a brief consultation with the alpha male of the lot took me into the showroom.

"you can find all the colors in here," as he handed me the dealer tome for the PT cruiser.

"this'll take awhile," i said as i sat down at a table in the middle of the showroom.

he sat down at the table with me, at first very attentive, asking questions and having chit-chat. after awhile he was lying with his head down on his arm like he might fall asleep right on the spot. then he simply abandoned me. "don't take that book with you," he sniped as he walked out of the showroom to look for another victim.

the colors were all there in all their perfect little swatches. there's one super-great choice and that's the "sunset." a very orange-y red. but there's more, oh so much more.

not only are there listings of all the different combinations of colors and features -- there are also cross-brand comparisons ... if i want a cruiser that is a color that isn't anywhere in the rest of the chrysler line, i have three choices: sunset, or either of the blues.

but wait, there's even more ...

as hard as it is to believe this phone-book sized monstrosity also has dealer cost in it. that's right, i can sit here right now and price out my PT cruiser with all options ... so i do.

an automatic ragtop cruiser with heated leather seats and top-of-the-line stereo has a factory wholesale price of US$19,858 and a MSRP of $21,120. a turbo tacks on another $1753 and $1905 respectively.

after about an hour at the table, flipping madly through pages and just taking in the whole chrysler meta experience, i walked out trying to find my man ... i want to see sunset on a car.

well my guy's no where to be found "i don't know sir, he's supposed to still be here." but it doesn't matter because they don't have a sunset cruiser anyway.

i make my way to the next closest place. sunnyvale chrysler -- a place that always feels kind of marginally ghetto to me for some reason. i'm swarmed by two sales guys as i walk in "i wanna see a cruiser in sunset pearl."

they flip through some inventory sheets. "oh yes sir! we have one! please take a seat outside."

i do and i wait. i wait about 15 minutes in fact, all the while browsing the web on my hiptop.

my man comes back over to me. "um, we have a problem. the sunset cruiser we have has sat for too long. it needs to be jumped."

so i wait another 10 minutes and then it's wheeled out. and the color is just gorgeous. THAT is the car i want. that color.

i thank the guy. "you wanna drive it?"

"no, thanks."

"you wanna buy it?"

"no, thanks."

"why not?"

"because it's a hardtop. i'm after a convertible that will be factory built for me. nothing else. if you have a car that has everything i want on it, sure, we'll talk." and i leave. it actually felt like the guy might cry.

poor guy.